Bespoke Vol. 1 - Insatiable

Bespoke: A passion project we have been dreaming up since quarantine days that’s finally launching! To aid the voices of our friends who may otherwise be muted. I am so excited to share my platform for others to share their emotions, open their hearts and encourage us to reflect. We all deserve to be heard and seen in our most authentic selves with no limitations to our self expression no matter how raw, gritty or vulnerable we choose. Why Bespoke? To speak, individually, custom made, not meant to fit a specific mold. Giving the storyteller full control of the story they want to tell, each one completely different. I am only here to offer a platform and take a step back in hopes they unleash however they feel. 

I am honored to launch this project with someone who I hold so close to my heart. Jen is more than a mother, she is a woman who radiates love and light. Her energy intoxicates the room and when she leaves you, you’re left aching to meet again. Instantly feeling like you’ve known her for years. She is gentle and sensitive. She is the backbone to Valley, and I never go a day taking her and our friendship for granted. Thankful our paths crossed. Lucky to call her a friend. I can not wait for you to meet her, here is Jen’s story. 

 

 Growing up, I hated summer time. The layer of “white” I would paint and flat iron on before leaving the house would literally melt away and with sweat on my neck I would sit on the side of the pool and get called ashy. Where I grew up, white was the default and everyone seemed to have an opinion on my ethnic and racial background. They would openly discuss it in front of me like I was a mutt from the pound and they wanted to know the worth of my breeds. This poem is about that. And it’s about all of the times I was pet, prodded, humiliated at the expense of “curious” white people. I don’t blame myself for assimilating, I survived that way as a “mixed” person. But I’m so grateful for the way I hold space for and love myself now. I’m no longer sitting on the edge of the pool, trying to hide my ashy bits. I am drenched head to toe in life experiences, no longer holding myself back. And god, the way my curls look when moisture breathes life into them!

Being mixed has taught me to be open to all the parts of myself. I am a birth and postpartum doula, a single mom, a writer, an artist, a vintage enthusiast, an activist, a student. I am a whole being.